Jaded

2007-11-04T19:47:00.000+08:00

I try not to think about the distance of the setting sun

I try not to think about the rain

I try not to think about the saints and sinners, who have more fun?

I try not to think about the rain

I try not to think about the evil empires and stupid fools

I try not to think about the rain

I try not to think about the regulations and the rules

I try not to think about the rain

Oh oh ohWhat's wrong with me?

I try not to think about the money, the mortgage on my home

I try not to think about the rain

I try not to think about the voice mails, e-mails, angry females on the phone

I try not to think about the rain

I try not to think about the job and all responsibilities

I try not to think about the rain

I try not to think about my TV, BBC or MTV

I try not to think about the rain

Oh oh ohWhat's wrong with me?

Oh oh oh ohWhat's wrong with me?

I try not to think about the planets when they line up wrong

I try not to think about the rain

I try not to think about the future or the future, so on and so on

I try not to think about the rain

Oh oh oh

What's wrong with me?

Oh oh oh oh

What's wrong with me?

Missing piece

2007-10-21T20:58:00.000+08:00

There's been quite a bit of positive changes in my life for the past 5 months... I started work which is going really well; i've fantastic colleagues who are so experienced in the clinical field, plus they are such great mentors and have been so willing in facilitating my learning at work. I've finally signed up for my french lessons @ alliance which is starting tomorrow and i'm psyched about it. I've bought a new bed for myself and managed to re-organised my war-zone looking room into a room that's more decent for living within 4 hours.

But...

I've come to a point in my life where everything is going so well but everything feels so wrong... That empty, voided feeling that i get everytime things start slowing down at the end of the day and i'm not occupied by work or classes or hanging out with my buddies. It came to the point where i don't want to talk or eat or do anything... With all of these events going on in my life that are genuinely positive, something is missing and i've no idea what it is...

My celebrity look-alike

2007-10-02T22:55:00.000+08:00

Apparently, i look like them. Cool!

Gimme, Gimme more...

2007-10-01T22:07:00.001+08:00

Phoebe has been nagging at me to update my blog for the past few weeks and I've finally found the time and the motivation to update and change layout of my blog. Took me quite some time so i think i'm going to stick to this layout for sometime. Theme is kinda dark and twisty... just the way i like it.

Jumping way off topic... There's been a lack of inspiration when it came to dance and i found myself constantly thinking, 'do i still want to dance?' Not that i'm getting sick of it... I simply have no motivation to dance at all. But watching this video gave me tingles down my spine everytime i watch it (& i've watched it for more than 5 times now). Song choice is a bit icky (Britney 'i'm so screwed up' Spears' Gimme More) but the choreography and performance is insanely good! It's by Black McGrath from so you think you can dance & dancelife. He's damn hot when he dance. ;p Enjoy!

On hiatus

2007-09-07T22:10:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since i've last blogged... not certain if its because of my crazy schedule between full-time work and TNW'07 rehearsals or if its because my life is so monotonous and routined now that there's nothing to blog about... Some people survives on routine, i guess i'm one of them now.

Working life and what-nots

2007-07-30T14:23:00.000+08:00

Haven't got the time to blog about my wereabouts... A lot of things happened i suppose. My 22nd birthday celebration @ Les Amis, Mini gathering @ Hui's, shopping trips and prezzies from my mum from her trip to Hokkaido... Usual things @ work... Fixed period of time at a fixed place. I guess i don't have that much of a flexible schedule as compared to during school time. On a brighter note, i'm starting to get a hang of things @ work, much more adept at dealing with the kids especially when they start to act up or are displaying problem behaviours.

Had a few episodes of lower back pain recently, so i decided to check it out and see what the root of the problem is. I went to the polyclinic to have a general orthopedic checkup and found out that i've small bone-spurs on my lumbar vertebrae (lower back)... That pretty much means that i've an aging spine at the age of 22 when this process usually starts when one is 30/35 years old. Bleah... I've an eight year headstart to getting arthritis and the possibility of spinal stenosis as compared to the rest of the people... Isn't that great... The thing that sucks the most is that i've to cut down on dance, perhaps even stop dancing for a while to slow down the process and prevent it from getting worse. Doctor suggested going for yoga classes to stretch and strengthen my back... Any recommendations for good yoga classes that i can go to ???

Aging jessica...

1st Paycheck!!!

2007-06-29T23:26:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling dead tired although i can't really figure out why since i've not been seeing as much kids as i would... But this week has been rather enjoyable.

Thursday
Dinner @ Garibaldi Italian Restaurant with Rachel which cost me 130 bucks. Food was excellent, service was excellent as well!

Today
Graduation Dinner @ Maritime Building or somewhere in the building. Food was alright but company was great! Finally had the chance to meet up with my classmates and get ahold of what each other are doing... Its really great to see that most of us have found jobs and the rest are heading over to different parts of Aussie and UK for their degree next week! Gosh, i feel excited for them when they were talking about their plans... As for me, maybe 3 years down the road i might pick up my books again and study full time!

And of course, the highlight of the day was:

My very first PAYCHECK as a full-fledged working adult! I'm gonna start saving up for my vacation at the end of the year and for my future studies! But i may just get a little birthday present for myself since i'm turning 22 in one and a half weeks time... Yikes, i'm really getting older...

Happy Father's Day!!!

2007-06-17T21:01:00.000+08:00

My family and i went to Vivo City today for a quick shopping trip and a dinner @ Hog's breath. Dinner was fantastic! I ate a 300 grams prime rib with salsa and cheese sauce and it was in such large servings! I did manage to chomp up all 300 grams of beef but i think i can skip breakfast for tomorrow... :p *Burp*

The steak that i ate!!!

Daddy dearest enjoying his steak

Mummy with her grilled salmon... (She doesn't like raw/halfed cooked food)

My mum and i! (Yesh... this is where i got my looks from)

Mum and Dad

adjustment

2007-06-15T21:24:00.000+08:00

2nd week of work has ended and the adjustment period is still ongoing. Tons of thoughts running through my head, shitload of mental notes made during all the sessions. The only problem is i can't seem to organise and sieve out the important things or questions that i had in my mind throughout the day... Ended up looking like an idiot and gapping like a freaking goldfish when i was been asked if i have any questions or queries. Finally came up with a lame-ass question which i have the answer for... Isn't that fantastic.

Where did 'Jessica' dissappeared to?

Sacred Monster

2007-06-10T15:09:00.000+08:00

Tech class was tough yesterday as usual but i think i'm getting slightly better at catching up with the choreography. I'm still slow at catching the minute details and feel of the choreography most of the time and that naturally made me feel a little inferior to those powerhouse in DE, especially when i see them picking everything up so easily.

The highlight of the day however was watching Sacred Monster featuring Sylvie Guillem & Akram Khan @ The Esplanade Theatre with Hui. The 60 minutes of performance was intense, humourous and literally breathtaking... The intricacy of the choreography and the projection that the dancers exuberate throughout the performance was amazing. I was up in the balcony with Hui watching and i could feel the connection between Slyvie Guillem & Akram Khan during their pas de deux. Needless to say, the performance received a standing ovation from the audience and naturally, Hui and I were cheering and grinning for a long time after the performance. I doubt any performance i watch in the near future is going to top that, well at least not anytime soon.

First week @ work

2007-06-09T00:54:00.000+08:00

First week of work has been interesting but oh so tiring. The kids there are adorable and my boss & colleagues are receptive and welcomed me with open arms. It's amazing how an environment can shape a person's thinking and facilitate the process of learning. The positive energy surrounding me at work makes learning much smoother and i honestly couldn't ask for any other workplace.

There r times where i still feel like a student since i've been one since 17 years ago... Makes me feel kinda old whenever i think about the amount of years i spend studying. Transitional process from being a student to a worker is an enlightening experience, it makes one feel more responsible and empowered, at least that's what i feel it does to me... Overall, this week went smoothly and i hope it will continue this way for a long time.

Candleburn

2007-06-01T21:45:00.000+08:00

on Vineland past the candle shrine that burns on every night

for someone

she lets herself go

like an angel in the snow

she lays down on her backdown on her back - she goes

take me over when I'm gone

take me over make me strong

take me over when I'm gone

will they burn for me

on Vineland past the candle shrine that melts into the street design

she waits - for someone

tonight she'll give herself away

she'll break apart all by herself

its so easy how we come undone

take me over when I'm gone

take me over make me strong

take me over when I'm gone

will they burn for me

she pulls me in - strips me down

she pulls me in - turns me out

she pulls me in - strips me down

take me over when I'm gone

take me over make me strong

take me over when I'm gone

will they burn for me

Good News!

2007-05-25T15:39:00.000+08:00

I'll be starting on my very first job (as an occupational therapist) in June!!! After two rounds of interviews and lots of waiting in trepidation, i've finally received a call from the director of the therapy centre that i've been selected for their job opening of a junior therapist! First step towards independence and many steps to come!

The days where i get to do ABSOLUTELY nothing

2007-05-17T18:18:00.000+08:00

The days of doing nothing has finally come... And to be honest, its not that fantastic really. The irony of wishing and hoping for days of no work and all play during my time of studies and now when i finally have that spare time, i don't know what to do with it. So i started dancing again! Which was absolutely wonderful and painful at the same time since i haven't been dancing for a couple of months now. Stiff joints, tight muscles and decrease in sense of balance equates to muscle aches and waddling around like a duck after 3 hours of tech class. But i'm excited about Next Wave this year! Wonder what kind of choreography i'm going to get. :>

Went for a couple of interviews and i have my eyes on this private practice. I love the environment and the staff who are working there and i can see myself learning and working really well if i get a job there. So fingers crossed for me! It's the waiting that is killing me... Not knowing what my future holds scares the s*** out of me, since i've traits of a control freak at times... *evil smile* Oh well, i'll just have to wait till next week to know what's going to happen to me.

On a lighter note, i got the chance to watch this inspiring documentary movie call "Born In Brothels" yesterday and it was just absolutely fantastic. This movie is about a female photographer from New York who went to India's red light district to photograph the lives of the prostitutes and the children living there.

She gave the kids a regular camera each and gave them photography lessons and provided the children with the opportunity to do something other than doing housechores and aimless wandering. She gave them the chance to dream of being someone important other than ending up as a prostitute or a drug seller when they grow up. These kids have talents and they are just inspiring to watch. So if you are looking for a feel good movie or needs reminder of why life is worthwhile and fabulous, this is the movie to watch.

Weary

2007-04-29T16:44:00.000+08:00

I should be happy... I should be celebrating since its my last week of placement and i'm one step away from graduation and independence. But i'm not happy at all... There's just so many things happening around me that is inducing depression and wearing me out. My grandmother's recent passing, my parents incessant, nonsensical argument, my family breaking apart... I'm so sick and tired of all these... I'm so sick and tired of trying to mend, trying to piece these things together. I'm sick and tired of being calm and composed, maintaining rationale thoughts. I'm sick of being caught in the middle and being forced to choose. Why can't things just go back to the way it was? Weren't we happy? Why can't everyone just get pass these little things and move on? Why am i the only one who is making all these desperate attempts to hold this family together?

Maybe i shouldn't try anymore, make all these feeble attempts when no one really cares... Maybe its time to give up and go our seperate ways...

link it to the world

link it to yourself

stretch it like a birth squeeze

the love for what you hide

for bitterness inside

is growing like the new born

when you've seen, seen too much

too young, young

soulless is everywhere

hopeless time to roam

the distance to your home

fades away to nowhere

how much are you worth?

you can't come down to earth

you're swelling up

you're unstoppable cos you've seen

seen too much

and too young young

show me it's real wasting

our last chance to come away

just break a silence

cause i'm drifting away away from you

Muse

- Newborn-

I Cuddle

2007-04-17T21:48:00.000+08:00

Quote: " I'm so bloody nice"Must be the kids that i'm with day in day out. They are the cutest things in the world! I want to bring them home! :)

Lunching alone

2007-04-07T19:31:00.000+08:00

Today was the first time i had lunch alone in orchard. It's pretty refreshing i must say although people were giving my weird looks while i was having a yummy rice bowl at Yoshinoya while reading one of the two newly purchased book, One More Day by Mitch Albom, the other book is Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder. I believe everyone should have lunch on their own once in a while... There's no need to strike up a conversation, no need to rush while eating ur food. Just me and my book, at my own pace, in my own time.

Had a huge argument with my mum yet again but this time, it is blown way out of proportion. Topics involved in the arguments are too long to explain but coincidently, one of the sentences in the book that i was reading sums it up.
It goes: (in the book it was boy, since the main character is a guy. I adapted it to my situation)

"Am i a mummy's girl or a daddy's girl?"

Does it matter? And why should i be made to choose?

Student Conference Mania

2007-04-02T19:54:00.000+08:00

It took me forever to find the time to blog about my student conference held two saturdays ago. It didn't went fantastically well for my team since the presentation slides somehow got screwed up and we had to stop and re-present our research paper again. Everyone was upset but what is done cannot be undone and i would say my team dealed with it admirably. Alll was forgotten when the conference ended and crazy photo-taking sessions took place. Although it was not graduation, it somehow felt like it was. We've finally presented our 'baby' after all the hardwork, late nights, sweat and tears we put into our research paper. Took tons of crazy photos before, during and after the conference.

Here they are...

My Best Buddies in School

After the conference, everyone went home and had a brief period of rest before meeting up for dinner again at Funan IT Mall. And naturally i was 'fashionably late' since i overslept my 'cat nap'. Dinner was followed by a drinking and photo-taking session at The Ink Bar, Swisshotel with some of the ladies... Tons of photo-taking again, you can imagine what the pictures are like considering how 'high' we were.

The super chio DIVA vodka bottle! with sparkling crystals in the bottle acting as filter. How cool?! Too bad elisa took it home... Sobb

Miss HongRui pouring us a drink

Round of drinks

'Drunk' version of Me, Steph, Rui & Suet

'Punk' Version of the four of us again

'Normal' version of us

Rui trying to 'eat' my shoes

Groupshot!

Ended up stumbering home and suffered a massive hangover the next morning but it was all for good fun!

Losing control

2007-03-11T23:42:00.000+08:00

This entry is an extensive elaboration in relations to my previous blog entry. It basically act as an instrument for me to unleash all the wrecked up emotions flowing through my blood vessels and into my head for the past one week or so. I hope no one reads this entry because i do not wish for any one to be exposed to my hideous writting.

I'm sure everyone has their fair chances of meeting people who has such infuriating character that even Mother Theresa or Gandhi himself would be annoyed if there's ever a chance of them interacting with them. Okay, i know that's not possible but its the best analogy i could think of now. I pride myself to have rather established control over my emotions nowadays, especially if i were to compare with my character in the past. But this person just infuriates me so much... Half the time i have to control myself so as not to scream at that person or tell that person to shut up but of course i can't because it is not the right thing to do. I've to look at the bigger picture and swallow all these emotions and total rage and that is not the easiest thing for me to do right now. I need an outlet, i need a release! God, i need to be away from that person but i can't because apparently, it is these 'experiences' that makes me a better person. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger right? In this case, if this goes on the way it is or gets worse, someone is going to get hurt, be it me or some unfortunate soul that crosses my path.

I'm still quite sane... just had to vent some frustration out before doing my work again.

How bad can life suck? You can count on it to be a living hell!

2007-03-08T22:29:00.000+08:00

Q: Have you meet people who brings out the worst in you?

A: I Have.

Feel and panic in the air,

i want to be free from desolation and despair,

i can't get it right...

Pieces don't fit anymore

2007-03-05T21:50:00.000+08:00

Came across this song by James Morrison, a fantastic singer. Fell in love with this voice and the song after i've listened to it.

Pieces Don't Fit Anymore (James Morrison)

I've been twisting and turning, In a space that's too small.

I've been drawing the line and watching it fall,

You've been closing me in, closing the space in my heart.

Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart.

Well I can't explain why it's not enough, Cause I gave it all to you.

And if you leave me now, oh just leave me now.

its the better thing to do,

Its time to surrender, Its been to long pretending.

Theres no use in trying, When the pieces dont fit anymore,

Pieces dont fit here anymore.

You pulled me under, I had to give in.

Such a beautiful myth, Thats breaking my skin.

Well i'll hide all the bruises, I'll hide all the damage thats done.

But I show how Im feeling until all the feeling has gone.

Ooh don't missunderstand, How I feel.

Cause I've tried, yes I've tried.

But still I don't know why, no I dont know why.

III dont know why...... whyyyyyyyy!

Nearing the end of the road

2007-03-04T12:00:00.000+08:00

The 13th annual student conference is drawing close but we are not done with our research yet!!! Literature review, methodology, data analysis, results, discussion and conclusion are left undone... My team and i are gonna die from stress and be buried under all the journal articles and data from the hospitals.

I think i'm overworked to the point where i have been sick for a week and i've yet to recover. The virus in my body is having fun with evolution, from a bad sore throat to a combination with flu and now, it has become really bad flu and cough. I have been refusing to go see a doctor despite my parents' fervent reminders, because i've faith in my own immune system. Now, after one week, i'm not so sure anymore... If it doesn't get any worse, i'm not going to see my GP.

Final 6-weeks clinicals are in 3 weeks time, graduation is in July... and i'll be a working adult in no time. The past three years have flew by and the changes i see in myself are tremendous. Well, at least i think i've changed for the better. No longer as narrow-minded, no longer finding faults in others and no longer an extreme workaholic as i used to be. I've learnt to appreciate life, the people and the things i have around me. Must say that I'm happier than i used to be although i believe it can be better. I'll just have to see what life has installed for me after i graduate.

Current Development Stage Transition of Miss Jessica Hooi

(based on Erikson's 8 stages of dvpt)

Adolescent

Identity vs Role Confusion

Tries integrating many roles (child, sibling, student, athlete,worker) into a self-image under role model and peer pressure

TO
Young Adult

Intimacy vs Isolation

Learns to make personal commitment to another as spouse, parent or partner

Personal Mantra (from now till graduation):

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

Reason to be an Occupational Therapist

2007-03-01T19:39:00.000+08:00

This video sums up why i am an occupational therapist.
Watch it! :)

HAPPY CNY EVERYONE!!!

2007-02-22T20:02:00.000+08:00

New year is pretty much a bore this year... Considering i've tons of work to do thus causing a decrease in visiting... Which means decrease in hongbao collection! Sobb... But on the other hand, i did get to eat a lot of cookies, ba kuas and yu sheng. Yumm... ;) No chance to play cards and i'm seriously incapable of playing mahjong.

Went to M'sia to visit my relatives for a few days. The trip was alright i suppose, since its about the same every single year, the only difference is that all of us are getting older. Haha. Spent my new year worrying about not completing my reports in time and my grandma who's seriously sick now. I was never really close to my grandma, considering she has the typical 'zhong nan qing nu' mindset. She never paid much attention to me when i was young, most attention went to my brother and my younger cousin (who's a guy).

I'm surrounded my illness day in day out during my attachments and because of what i do as an occupational therapist, illness/sickness doesn't bug me, nor does it surprise me or throw me off guard when i see a disabled person. I treat them just like any other human being because i believe that they are not different in any other way. But seeing my grandma lying in her bed, coughing every now and then, puking out nearly everything that she eats, it saddens me. I guess treating a patient is not the same as treating your own family member. I know its not gonna happen anytime soon and all these seems so remotely far off but it's plain melancholy when my grandma lamented on not being able to watch me set up a family of my own while i was seating by her bedside. But somehow it felt like she was saying her last words to everyone of us... And it felt weird, felt unfamiliar...

I'm equipped with all these knowledge & skills from my studies and my clinical practice but i can't seem to do much for her... and it sucks having to feel that way.

Chill out saturday

2007-02-05T21:17:00.000+08:00

Due to lack of time in school and juggling between the various presentations and project in school, the ponekard clique have no choice but to meet up on a saturday to discuss work rehabilitation presentation format at TCC, centrepoint. It was pretty productive considering we

Ate...

and Ate some more,

Took some cute photos,

Practice 'TCM'; Had massages (complements of potential 'xi tou mei', Ms Ah Rui)

Pose for some 'arty farty photos'

And came up with a programme flow chart and a list of questions for Bizlink (Thanks Irene!); along with some backache due to the ergonomically non-friendly sofas and table

Retail Therapy

2007-01-28T10:53:00.000+08:00

I think i'm in the 'unlucky' phase of my life now... My brother's labtop unfortunately got injured in my hands althought i don't know how i did it. My shoulder blades are hurting like hell due to all the trigger points i have in my muscles, my back hurts if i walk on heels or sit for too long. I'm literally flooded by all this suai-ness...

So i the light of all this suai-ness, i decided to go on a retail therapy with my mum and phoebe to de-stress. The process of it wasn't fruitful for most part of the day. Well, i.e. until i saw this Marc Jacob silk dress shirt at 2cm, far east plaza. I was thinking that they will not have my size but guess wat?! They had a size 2 and it fit me perfectly after i tried it on. I won't say wat was the price i pay for it but it was such a great deal! Phoebe bought this gorgeous velvety emerald green jacket by Marc Jacobs as well at 2cm. I would have bought it myself if i wasn't so broke...

On the side note, i manage to buy a really cute necklace and a gorgeous bra from Tangs.'

Schizo

2007-01-25T23:27:00.000+08:00

This is me blogging again for the second time today. I've tons of things in my mind but i can't really organise it into proper, coherent sentences due to my already mushed up brain from the extremely long day in school.

Met up with glen today in school since he is waiting for jane to be done with her quiz. We had our usual gossiping session at the cafe in school and he told me some stuff about a friend that i honestly thought i'll nv hear since i believe in the notion of "my friends(those i'm close to & have known for a long time) will be truthful to me; regardless of what it is about". Hey, guess wat? I was seriously wrong and disappointed i must say... But duh... When was i ever right?

I believe that there's a schizophreniac hiding in me waiting to burst out and it's just waiting for the right trigger. I'm always asking myself, "am i really that hard to get?" How can one person be cynical, utterly realistic at times and yet be so naive at the same time? I really need some counselling and therapy. Any volunteers?

How can you spare someone's feelings by denying them?

2007-01-25T21:01:00.000+08:00

I need a hug...

Ramblings

2007-01-23T21:42:00.000+08:00

School has been pretty intense lately... Tons of readings to do, tons of projects and reports to complete and tons of work for my final year project which is finally sparking off now that NHG has provided us with ethics approval. But that means more work for me... It's still a little surreal when i think of graduation which is pretty much 4 months away. May seem like a long time but time flies by every single day... I wish there was 48 hours a day so that i can finish up my work in time.

The trip to New York has not been confirmed yet but my dearest daddy is gonna sponser my air ticket for me! So i'll just have to worry abt my expenses... :) I'm looking forward to a fabulous summer vacation... It's been years since i went to the states so its about time i pay visit to the statue of liberty! and of course, Saks, Fifth Ave... hehe. Just keeping my fingers crossed that Tess will be done with school by then.

Latest Obsessions
1) Australian Open - Mostly Andy Roddick and Roger Federer
2) Rain - Yesh, the really hot korean singer (never thought in a million years i'll say this... But he is a REALLY FANTASTIC dancer)
3) Journal Articles - yes, i've an inner nerd in me
4) Carl Jung's Man and their Symbols (Fantastic book; although a little heavy to read)
5) Crunches and Leg Lifts before bed

I've finally placed a new tagboard into my blog after much procrastination. :) So friends, chat away!

Reality

2007-01-10T21:40:00.000+08:00

I was having a lecture on professional issues this morning and we were talking about job interviews and preparations which included writing a CV to market ourselves as potential employees. Reality hits me when our lecturer was emphasing again & again the importance of writing an excellent CV and 'selling' ourselves to our potential employers. I'm graduating really soon... and i'll have to send out my CV, go for interview and eventually earn a living for myself and my family. The thought of it is exciting but yet so extremely daunting...

Tons of questions went through my mind... Where should i send my resume to? What if i can't practice in an area of specialty that i wanted? Can i survive on my own? I've been a student for so long that i can't help but to think, "What will become of me when i graduate?" I need some advice! because i'm clueless at this...

BFF?

2006-12-26T12:09:00.000+08:00

24th Dec - Christmas Eve
Not much celebratin this year other than meeting up with the working ladies @ Tiffins Room, Raffles Hotel for a christmas eve breakfast buffet which is not half bad actually. As per usual, we stuffed ourselves with tons of food (being typical singaporeans), exchange presents and soaked ourselves in the christmas atmosphere with the beautiful decor at Raffles Hotel.

Phoebe got me the complete season 1 & 2 of Grey's Anatomy!!! (Love her to bits!)
Rachel got me a bottle of perfume from perfume bar @ shaw centre. The bottle that hold the perfume is really unique.

I will post the pictures up later when dear rachel can find time to send me the photos taken using her camera.(This girl owes me tons of pictures)

Dear phoebe had to work in the afternoon shift on christmas eve, thus leaving rachel and i to wander around city hall and do some catching up while eating more ice cream at Haagen Dazs. I've been thinking about this notion of whether best friends are forever... We can be best friends now but will we still be best friends ten years down the road, when we get so caught up with work, with success, with our bf/family, with our newfound friends somewhere along the way? I've not had a long chat with Rachel for quite some time now, in fact, i can't seem to remember when was the last time we sat down and talk. Not just about superficial things like what we've bought on previous shopping trips, or some random cute guy we met at a club/bar but simply on how each other have been and the troubles/success we had.

I don't believe in drastic changes in a person's thinking or character, well, unless that person had a life-changing encounter. It got me thinking on the reasons that caused me to feel like i don't know my best friend as well as i did before. Could it be because we have not been spending quality time together? That we weren't with one another at certain point in time to see the changes? and when we are together, are we just meeting up for the sake of meeting up? because we're best friends? Are we taking each other for granted after over 10 years of friendship? So many questions in my head but none i've answers for... Maybe i'm thinking way over my head but aren't there always a triggers to the doubts that we have? And so,

Are Best Friends Forever?

Spankin' New Layout!!!

2006-12-22T18:25:00.000+08:00

I've finally took the time off to refurnish my blog with a spankin new lay0ut along with my favourite music! It took me forever since i'm super duper rusty on html... But i'm happy to say that this layout will be here for quite some time since it'll take me donkey years to 'renovate' it again...

Christmas is coming and i'm officially broke for the next couple of months... No more shopping for me. Sobb... Plus i've to save up for my pending trip to the States after graduation. I won't have to pay for accomodation since i'll be staying with Tess but the air ticket and the micellaneous expenditure will cost me a bomb already... Maybe i can get a 'loan' from my parents. hehe. Of course, i've to pay them back upon my first paycheck.

Time to scrimp & save!

Sick

2006-12-18T13:25:00.000+08:00

you will be the death of me. that's what ran through my mind everytime you pull one of those shitty, disgusting behaviours that you have on me. I know that i'm responsible for you (in more ways than one), since i'm ur daughter and most probably will be condemned for saying this. But sometimes i just wish that i don't have that responsibility.

It has always been like this. You screaming at me and embarassing me or anyone else over silly, unnecessary things, me trying my damn hardest to ignore your ridiculous, unreasonable, childish behaviours till the point where i can't bear with it anymore and more screaming begins. You put me down, insult the things that i love to do, like dance or my occupation, gleefully pour buckets of cold water over my dreams and my aspiration when you are suppose to give me new perspectives on things when i'm lost. What is it that you want from me? I tried my best to accomodate but you are just not satisfied. You always tell me this, "You should know! Why do i have to tell you?" GUESS WAT?! I'm not god, i'm not a fucking mindreader. That's why i don't know everything. If you want me to do something, all you have to do is fucking ASK.

You want me to respect you but you don't even know how to respect yourself or others.

" Do onto others what you want others to do onto you".

Simple as that

2006-12-16T12:13:00.000+08:00

I don't have a heading for this post because i can't think of one. Okay... I admit, I was too lazy to think of one. But who cares anyway :p

I'm typing this entry with residual aches all over my body (especially my butt and my back) from a four days intensive dance camp where we dance for at least 10 hours a day. It was painful... but it came along with great fun and laughter from ridiculous jokes and weird behaviours from all our worn out asses.

Came back home with tons of emails to read and tons of emails to send. It's suppose to my holidays before my final semester (YESH!!! can't wait to graduate) starts. But i'm using to for school work (duh) and other random things that i've yet to settle due to my procrastination. Just a prediction of how next year is gonna be with my newfound timetable sent with 'love' from my lecturer in school. 8am classes 3 out of 5 days, classes ending at 6pm 3 out of 5 days... along with final year paper/presentation preparation and 6 weeks clinical attachment. Oh yeah... I'm gonna have so much 'fun'. WTF... -_-

And because of this timetable, i can't dance for evocation'07 with dance ensemble (damnit). So friends, if you can't find me for the next 6 months, don't worry. I'm either dying in school, buried and suffocated by the journals in my library or being locked up in an asylum due to immense stress. Come dig me up from the library or help me escape from the asylum. -_- School hasn't started and i've already turned slightly insane.

Patience

2006-11-15T21:58:00.000+08:00

Everything in its time

Sometimes i wonder what lies ahead
How long til my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
so many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and i try to pray
in the silence i can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like that i'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
why i should give up
But i'm stubborn in the things i believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to the patience and watch for the sign

'cause maybe there's another plan
One i still cant see
A little surprise, like your love in your life
Funny how time changes how we see

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to the patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
Everything in its time

Inspiration

2006-11-04T11:32:00.000+08:00

This is why i'm still dancing

2006-08-24T12:00:00.000+08:00

Drowning with work...
Overwhelmed by stress
Wasting away,
I need someone...

ARGHHH

2006-08-18T22:34:00.000+08:00

24/7 of school work...
10 hours of rehearsal...
5 hours of sleep...
1 minute of sanity...

B'Day celebration & Rapture'06

2006-08-06T16:36:00.000+08:00

These past months have been the most hectic time for me, Attachment; School; Dance; Performance; Birthday Celebrations... You name it, i've done it. Days of having slept less than 4-5 hours, waking up with muscle cramps and bruises all over my knees, having to drag my lethargic self to work and to school, attending classes that bore my pants/skirt off... As dreadful as it might sound, it's all worth the extra time and effort! Naturally there were bad times but the good overweigh the bad. :-)

Coming up next, NUS Dance Ensemble presents The Next Wave'06

Those interested in watching it, it's on the 15/16th Sept, 7.30 @ UCC in NUS. Tix is at 10, 15 and 18 bucks. Tickets are sold at gatecrash.com.sg / S.A.M machines or POST office.

Haven't really got the time to update on my B'day celebration and SAJC dance performance @ Esplanade last Friday! So here are some picts!

My 21st B'Day celebration with my best friends and my family!

Rapture' 06 - Alumni cast!

21st BIRTHDAY!!!

2006-06-24T11:28:00.000+08:00

I'm turning 21 in 15 days time! I always have mixed feelings when it comes to this particular birthday because i'm officially becoming an adult... Meaning greater responsibility and everything else. Plus, it means that i'm turning older... Wrinkles in the near future! Yikes! :( But the best part about turning 21 is that you recieved lots of prezzies and a pass to near total freedom from ur parents. And yesterday, i recieved my very first birthday prezzie from Phoebe aka Ting Jie! She sms me and indicated that she wanted me to wear it when we go head out from dinner next week to celebrate my birthday... So here's the present!

It's a platinum gold necklace and pendent with a diamond embedded in the center! It's damn pretty!!! If you are reading this Phoe, THANK YOU! muackz!

So for the benefit of the people who don't know what to buy for me, here's a short wishlist!
1) A samsung D820 - my parents are buying it for me!!!

I like this phone too!!! But i'm not so sure on whether i should buy this...

2) A cropped jacket

3) A nice pair of shoes

4) A cute clutch

5) A clasp bag and a cute little sling bag

6) Headscarf

7) Grey's Anatomy Season 1 DVDs

I know that some of the pictures i've posted up are high end stuff... But it is a 'WISH' list! So i'm free to wish for whatever i want!

I'm not gonna do major celebration... Don't want to be stressed out with all the planning... A chilled out dinner with my family and friends would be good enough for me! and if time permits, a night of partying with my friends would make it even better! :>

I Dig Older Man

2006-06-12T19:36:00.000+08:00

I've realised that i've been talking a hell lot about my school life and how miserable it is... So here's something for a change...

I'm a die hard fan of Grey's Anatomy and i've never missed an episode... :> Yes, i've to admit, i'm quite a morbid person... I love to watch shows such as ER, Chicago Hope, Grey's Anatomy, CSI, Law and Order... The list goes on. As long as it has something to do with death or surgery or anything gross, i'll watch it. But that's beside the point...

I was talking to hui and cynthia about guys and how annoying some of them can be... And of course how utterly adorable some of them can be. And i've came up to a conclusion! I Dig Older Man. Here's some illustration...

My very first love... I fell in love with him the moment i saw him. I'm still in love with him btw. :>

My first love...

And then there was

Johnny Depp

and now i'm totally crazy about this majorly HOT neurosurgeon...

My McDreamy...

See! All are older men who absolutely ozzes charisma and confidence. And these often comes with age...

So that's that! :>

Back to OLD SCHOOL!!!

2006-06-01T23:23:00.000+08:00

Today is the day where i fell on my ass and kinda in my face twice and became soaking wet because of two kids whose height barely reached my waist. So in what context can 2 teeny weeny kids caused me to lose my "grace" or should i say "my face"?!? Take a guess....

wat is it?...

Not sure?...

...

I went ICE SKATING today!!! @ Jurong East entertainment centre with glen, jaime and samantha. I can't remember when was the last time i've stepped into an ice skating rink which may i remind you, used to be my favourite activity (other than dance) during my secondary school days. Gosh! So much memories popped up in my head when i stepped into the rink. And it felt so old school because of the songs they play... It was kinda cheesy love songs or disney soundtracks but it kinda work it's power because somehow, by listening to it, you want to/ at least attempt to skate in an elegant way. It was so fun!!! And of course, seeing glen fall on his butt adds on to the fun! hehe. Jaime actually showed some real talent in figure skating!!! He should consider taking it up as a sport! Wish i've brought along my camera to take some snap shots though...

As time passed, i've managed to trigger my long term memory and started skating proper. But it just didn't feel like the past, where i was a better skater... Guess i'm getting old... I need to skate more!!! Need to get the hang of it and practice makes perfect!

Going off topic... I'll be starting my attachment real soon... And by soon, i mean next week! Got posted to AH for a hand rehabilitation placement... Should be interesting! *fingers and toes crossed* I'll update again soon!

FREAKS!!!

2006-05-23T22:08:00.000+08:00

Why is it that i always have encounters with freak?!? It's like i can't escape them! All these freaks in the world. I mean, here i was, minding my own business, walking to the bus stop after watching a fantastic movie, The Da Vinci Code. And there it was, a freaking short and butt ugly bangladesh with his freaking friends waiting for to use the telephone at the telephone booth aiming his camera at me. What the fuck man! And he just took a photo of me before i could react to it. Thank goodness i was quick enough to cover my face with my hand. I so wanted to go up to him and take his fucking ancient loser camera and smash it in his face when he laughed at my reaction. But since i was outnumbered by he and his fucking minions, i've decided not to confront him. Shouldn't put myself at a greater disadvantage... Freaking piece of shit!!! What is up with these bangladeshi?!? Not that i'm trying to stereotype but all the incidents that i've heard from my friends and i've experienced myself just drives a point across... What?!? Is your job too freaking boring for you that you have to touch girls inappropriately during massive parties such as the countdowns at sentosa or haress them in your gang during the christmas eve celebration at orchard road!? That you have to take a girl's picture without her permission when she's just minding her own business and trying to get home!? Where are your FUCKING MANNERS?!?

I'm having a not so good week and this just adds on to my misery so I HAVE TO RANT LIKE A MAD WOMAN!

To those of my dear friends who are concerned about me after reading this blog, I'm alright. Just have some... okay, maybe more than some bottled up anger and out of control hormones running through my bloodstream (Yes, I'm PSMing).

Holidays...

2006-05-22T19:12:00.000+08:00

I've about two more weeks of hols left before my Clinical 3A of 6weeks starts... Spent most of my hols chilling at home, reading some good books, in fact, i've discovered an author who writes damn good action packed novels! Matthew Reilly! The book that i was reading, titled, Seven Ancient Wonders was so good that i didn't stop until i finished reading it... Of course, the rest of the hols, i spent it dancing, either at rehearsals or at clubs. :) I've managed to get myself drunk at glen's party and ended up with a massive hangover with 7 hours of dance rehearsals looming ahead of me last week. But hey, i managed to get past that 7 hours... without much problem other than my stomach threatening to empty itself when i do too much pirouttes or chaînés...

Just received my results today... and i did not do as well as i thought. GPA score dropped. AGAIN... I'm getting more and more depressed by my years of study... Thank goodness it's only three years. If it's any longer, i think i'll end up seeking psychiatry assistance. All that aside, i'm damn well gonna enjoy my last two weeks of hols before work starts again.

I'm Free!!!

2006-05-05T10:50:00.000+08:00

Exams were over yesterday and i have officially survived two years of hell-hole education in occupational therapy. *pop confetti!!!* One more year of hell to go and i'll be free from the educational system! How exciting is that?!

Anyways, I've a month to enjoy myself before my 6 weeks clinical placement starts again at i don't know where... I'm not so worried about where i would be place since the last one was shitty enough. If i can survived that place, i think i can survive in any other places... But then again, better don't jinx it! (keeping fingers crossed)

Going for lionel's bday dinner on Saturday!!! With the dancers! Can't wait since it has been some time since all of us went out. Will post some pictures up soon!
Till then.

Aspects of Love?

2006-04-29T13:25:00.000+08:00

Since this is a study week, naturally, I would be spending time mugging through tons of notes and books while I cough by lungs out caused by the bloody painful sore throat that I’m having since wed. So I decided to take a break from all these and go watch a musical with glen who received a pair of free tickets after spending money at Barang Barang. It's call, 'Aspects of Love' composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber. I don't know what the story is about but it have to be good right? After all, he did composed musicals such as Joseph and the amazing technicolour dreamcoat, Cats and Phantom of the opera...

Well, Glen and I left after the interval... Maybe it's because we don't understand the musical but I think most part of it was kinda badly acted out. The transitions of the scenes were kinda abrupt at certain points, the sound system wasn't top notch, the singing was okay. I like Andrew Lloyd Webbers's musicals... I like Cats and Phantom of the Opera, no correction, I love Cats & Phantom of the Opera. But I just can't appreciate this musical... To me, it was about messy and confusing love triangle between a besotted young man, a poor wannabe actress and an old man (fine... a mature man) who just happens to be that young man's uncle. In the process of this messy love triangle, add in the uncle's ex-Italian lover from Vienna, army and marriage after a threesome between the uncle, his Italian lover and the wannabe actress plus a baby being produced post wedding... How weird is that?

So at the end of the night, we went to have a little late night dinner at Breko in Bugis and head on back home after a brief bitching session… So, thanks glen! For the erm, interesting play and wonderful bitching session!

I hate exams…

Mr Nice Guy

2006-04-19T20:16:00.000+08:00

That's it, i'm not going to be Mr Nice Guy anymore. It's pointless anyway, being understanding to others, I mean, who cares whether u are nice or understanding or not? What i hear constantly from others are "Jess, you have to understand (...), she's being brought up differently, Jess, her character is like this, Jess, try to be more understanding." And so, i try again and again to understand, to take a step back But GUESS WAT?! I feel like i've taken so many steps back that i'm at the edge of a cliff already.

It doesn't pay to be nice and now i totally believe in that. If everybody thinks tat i'm a bitch, I'm fine with that! I'm a bitch and i'm loud and proud of it!

V for Vendetta!!!

2006-04-06T21:45:00.000+08:00

Oh my God!!! I think i'm in love!!! I've just watched V for Vendetta after contemplating for so long and IT was FABULOUS. I feel so inspired and so empowered just by watching the. The words, the ideas, the VOICE... I love the voice of V, its so mysterious, so captivating, so sensual... I would love to describe to everyone who wonderful this film is but i fear of doing the film injustice with my mere attempt. So go watch it before it closes!!!

V for Vendetta

I'm in love with this man...

Nothing to do, Nowhere to go...

2006-04-05T10:20:00.000+08:00

School has finally started again after 4 weeks of hellish clinicals and 1 week of "holiday"... I'm still swarmed with endless reports and presentations and my plans of going on a holiday in May are postponed due to unforseen circumstances. My blog has been on hiatus for some time not because i've nothing to write about but because my entries for past months have been way too depressing... I wasn't even aware of it until after i read through my past entries a few days ago. It's depressing just to read what i've wrote past few months and i wouldn't my friends who are reading my blog to have their moods affected by it...

My one month clinical experience was hell... Having to work with people that i can't communicate effectively with, people who have the innate nature to impose their ideas and mindset on you, people who loves to stab you in the back, people who are oh so 'understanding', people who made me cry when i'm back home in the showers every single day. I came out of this clinical attachment with 3-quarter less of confidence and self-esteem and a whole lot of self-doubt and tons of questions left unanswered. I'm not so sure whether this course that i'm in has more benefits on me or is killing me slowly every single day. Looking at my worn out self in the mirror every morning and seeing some of my classmates getting more depressed everyday have left me to ponder,

Why are we doing what we are doing?

Expectations

2006-02-25T21:11:00.000+08:00

Expectations, expectations. This word always gets me in trouble or put me in a really foul mood. I expected you to call, or at least drop a sms but you did not. I expected us to be friends but guess what?! we are so not! Screw you for giving me false hope, screw you for giving me the fucking idea of you care or give a damn about me and want us to be friends because it is now quite obvious that you don't. Silly me, worrying that something went wrong or something bad happened to you, that's y u didn't call or msg when you arrived. Why the fuck did i even bother. All those, "I missed u loads, can't wait to see you" are all bull crap.

If you were to contact me in any form, fine. If u didn't, guess wat? it's fine with me too. Because from today onwards, i no longer give a shit about you.

Evocation '06, i'm so glad it's over!

2006-02-25T11:27:00.000+08:00

Haven't got the time to update due to endless workload from sch and endless rehearsals from the NUS DE. But everything is coming to a stop, for now at least. Side-track a little, I'll be starting on another round of clinical attachment, this time @ a private paediatric clinic, which is an area where i've always wanted to venture into, so this is a great time to start!

Ok, Evocation 2006 went well... I've went through this whole performance with lots & lots of sweat and tears at some point in time but i survived and came out of this "war" with new insight of myself and my abilities as a dancer and a hell lot of bruises, newly toned muscles and a lighter weight.

So here are some pictures from Evocation 2006...

Fangqi's girls

Gorgeous cynthia dressed in real rabbit fur *gasps*

Bryan's item

After the show!

The purple rose that Hui gave me!

The lovely bouquet, compliments of the 'pone-card' clique!

Mistake

2006-02-03T21:15:00.000+08:00

It's nearly six months since i've gotten my driving licence... My driving skills have improved quite a bit but yesterday night, i did the unthinkable... I've disfigured my dad's SUV... Haiz. And i didn't even realise it until today, when my dad pointed out the damage to me. I was waiting my my parents to scream at me for the damage that i've done but they didn't scold me... Which made me feel worse. Now i don't even dare to think about driving the SUV again. Let's just hope that i can salvage the damage tomorrow morning. ( I think the paint on the pillars of the carpark was scraped onto the side of the car when i drove too near to it, so maybe, just maybe, i can use thinner to remove the paint.) SObb...

Unproductive weekend

2006-01-23T13:16:00.000+08:00

I've wasted my weekend sleeping away due to all the medication that the docter have given me. The flu tablets caused drowsiness, so does the double concentration cough syrup... I was reduced to a walking zombie after taking the medication... Tried to complete my work using the computer but ended up not doing anything after seeing two LCD screens instead of one while i was typing my report. The keys on the keyboard seems to be floating as well. Yes... that was how strong the medication was.

Didn't go for NUS DE tech class and fangqi's rehearsals since i could barely get out of my bed. I'm in so much trouble... Gonna have a lot to catch up before going for the next rehearsal. But i did go for Bryan's and Fangqi's rehearsal on saturday. I love both items although i'm worrying if i could dance to their standards. I'll try nonetheless especially since improving in my dance techniques and stage presence are my resolutions this year. :> Performance is going to be on 15th and 16th of Feb @ LT13 in NUS. Can't wait!

CNY is coming!!! hahahaha. Imagine all the cookies and ba kua i can eat. Yummy... Plus all the hongbaos i'm gonna get! CNY is definitely one of my favourite holidays! :>

Bad Week

2006-01-13T19:13:00.000+08:00

It has been a really sucky week... Everything just refuse to go my way and the weather just makes my already dampened spirit worse. I've so many things to complete, 2 presentations next week one after another, meeting minutes to type, my heels got stuck in the drain while it was pouring, i nearly fell backwards into a puddle of dirt water when i was trying to pull my heels out, experiencing a couple of periods of gastric pain in a week, the list goes on... All i could do was just to keep on telling myself that things can't get any worse but apparantly, they can.

My dream of going to a rock concert for the first time is dashed as well. I was so looking forward to the Frand Ferdinand concert on the 16th next month but now i can't go since NUS Evo'06 performance falls on that day itself. So i've decided to give up my rock concert and perform in Evo'06. I've always admired the dancers of DE (dance ensemble), watched their concert nearly every year and have always hoped to be part of them and now i am. Having the opportunity to perform as an official member of NUS DE this year is kinda "a dream come true", so no rock concert is going to take my passion for dance away!

Ever since i've joined the course of Occupational Therapy, i've been increasingly moody and my temper has been fluctuating as well. In the past, when i'm pissed off at something or someone, i'll let them have it, but now, after being constantly taught of "putting urself in other ppl's shoes" ideology, i can't do what i do before. I can't even not feel guilty when i'm pissed off at someone/something or when i show them "attitude".
WHAT IS UP WITH THIS WHOLE DEAL OF GUILT & CONSCIOUS?!
I thought getting a better insight of self and others makes you a better person. In my case, i feel like i'm not myself anymore. I'm no longer the girl who has the "I don't give a shit about what people think of me or what i think of them" attitude. I've to be so put together everytime, no tantrums, no temper, no attitude, just calm... It's this what you call 'growing up' and being an 'adult'? Because if it is, i'm so not looking forward to it...

1st week of sch

2006-01-08T11:43:00.000+08:00

I've managed to survive my first week of sch. Timetable for this semester is pretty good, compared to last semester but don't get too excited for me because on the first day of school, i already have a pile of work to complete. Not to mentioned the constant trepidation of the upcoming CRD (Clinical Reasoning Discussion) next week and the 4 weeks attachment in late Feb. Let's just hope that i don't get slaughtered this sem.

Met up with the guys and gals from SAJC Dance Alumni on friday... We have grown in numbers. This year's concert is gonna be so exciting, its a shame that i wouldn't be able to join them in performance this year... @ Esplanade! As much as i want to, i'll be crazy to join them this year, since my schedule is way too pack for me. Nonetheless, i'll be joining hui as wardrobe mistress... I still want to be part of it, even though i can't perform with them on stage... Sobb...

Heads up everyone!!!
Next wed, 11/01/06 is the very FIRST OT DAY in s'pore! Finally we get to have a day in 365 days to commemorate my profession! :>

For those who still don't know what i do, here's a brief description of my profession.

"Occupational Therapy (OT) is a health profession that uses activities with specific goals to help people from all ages prevent, reduce or overcome effects of disabilities. The fundamental purpose of occupational therapy is to maximise one's functions and quality of life."

SHOPAHOLIC...

2006-01-02T19:34:00.000+08:00

Was trying to pack my wardrobe yesterday, ended up with a wardrobe that looked ransacked... Well, at least i've tried. :p I've found out that there are so many new additions to my wardrobe compared to a couple of months ago. These includes bags and shoes as well.

So here's a list of my new additions:
1) A skirt from warehouse (compliments of Phoebe)
2) A pair of shorts (I bought it yesterday... it was on 50% sales!)
3) A damn nice T-shirt from Topshop
4) A Jacket (from Japan)
5) A white long sleeve top (from Japan)
6) A belt (compliments of Glen)
7) A one-piece-only Sisley bag
8) A GAP bag (from Japan)
9) An Anna Sui bag (from Japan)
10) A nice pair of pumps
11) A GORGEOUS pair of peep toe heels from Aldo (compliments of Rachel)
12) A damn nice pair of calf-high sneakers (I bought it yesterday as well...)

All these in the span of 2 months... I NEED to stop shopping! OMG, i haven't been saving any money at all... What is wrong with me?! No sense of self-control at all. But i still have so many things to buy! And CNY is approaching! How?!? I think i'll have to take the extreme measure and get my mum to keep part of my allowance from me... Sobb... Incorrigible habit.

An new addition to my '2006 new year resolution.
1) NO MORE SHOPPING UNLESS NECESSARY.

I'm determine to keep this new year resolution...

New Year Resolutions

2005-12-31T21:14:00.000+08:00

I've forgotten about my new year resolutions! So here goes...

1) Survive my 2nd and 3rd year of study (including the attachments) and of course do well in it
2) Revamp my room
3) Improve on my dance techniques and stage presence
4) Save more money
5) Learn to be contented with what i have
6) Stay in touch with ALL my friends
7) Of course, I want to be HAPPY...

2005-12-31T17:11:00.000+08:00

Great Feast!

Last post of the year...

2005-12-31T17:09:00.001+08:00

Time sure flies... One year has past and so much things have happened. Yesterday was my final day of attachment, i couldn't help but feel sad... It's been a tough month but i've learnt a lot and enjoyed myself very much. But i can always go back and visit! :> So it's not so bad afterall.

Went out with my clique in school for dinner @ marina bay yesterday night. Sherry, a friend of ours, has decided to quit the course to pursue something else, so all of us thought we should meet up for dinner...Had a lot of fun! It was nice to meet up with them and talk since i've not seen them for a month. :> All of us are just glad that clinicals are over but of course, all of us dreaded the idea of school reopening next tues...

Well, i've decided not to go anywhere tonight, crowds aren't in my good books nowadays. So i'm gonna chill at home, read a good book and let this year pass by quietly...

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

2005-12-31T17:09:00.000+08:00

The OT gang!

Long awaited entry...

2005-12-24T12:32:00.000+08:00

Yes... I went MIA again... haha. Can't blame me for that you noe... It's not my fault that the bloody attachment is taking up all of my time. All that goes through my mind nowadays are treatment plans, task analysis, conducting treatment sessions, case presentations! I've no time for anything... BUT... Good thing is that i'll have to survive one more week of attachment and i'll be free! hahahaha.

Finally did some last minute christmas shopping on thurs night. I had to rush down to town straight from work and complete all my gift shopping within 2 hours. I'm so proud of myself because i've managed to buy gifts for my br0ther, cynthia, glen, Jessica no. 2 (she's a classmate of mine who saved my ass a couple of times during our attachment), and myself (hehe, yes, i'm a little narcissistic...)

Gonna have dinner with cyn and possibly glen on the 25th late lunch with my bestest friends on the 26th and a dinner party @ hui's place on the 30th! Can't wait... :> Till then

Merry Christmas everyone!!!
Oh, and welcome back Walid!!!

I'm Back!!!

2005-11-29T21:06:00.001+08:00

Hello everyone, i'm back from Japan! Tired but contented... Did some major damage to my pocket, well, actually it's to my dad's pocket... The whole trip was fabulous! I've learnt so much, met so many new people, got to know my schmates and my lecturers better. The japanese are really sweet folks... They are polite, endearing and they make such great hosts. It's an experience since Singaporeans are rarely like that. I'm not saying all Singaporeans are rude... It's just that some of them have the tendency to be rude.

This is the first trip where i've taken so many photographs, nearly 200 of them. It was difficult not to have the urge to take photos because the scenaries are just so beautiful. It feels a little unreal at certain points of time... And i wish that my best pals and my family were there with me. Highlight of the trip was seeing the Geishas and seeing Mt Fuji... There's only one word to describe it, Breathtaking...

Japan is a good place to getaway from the hustle and bustle of city life... Except for Tokyo. It's nice to just take a few days off to explore the sub urban areas such as Kyoto, Mt Fuji and Arashiyama. One place in Japan that i'll definitely go back is Blueberry Lodge @ Mt Fuji. Nice place to just relax and unwind and simply do nothing but enjoying the scenaries, the fresh air and the person or ppl who are with u...

Now that i'm back, i've worked piled up on my desk and serious preparations are needed my my upcoming one month clinical attachment starting on next mon. Sigh... Back to reality...

2005-11-29T21:06:00.000+08:00

goodies!!!

2005-11-29T21:02:00.000+08:00

My battle marks...

2005-11-29T21:01:00.000+08:00

Last day in Tokyo

2005-11-29T21:00:00.000+08:00

Tokyo Tower... The most romantic spot in Tokyo

2005-11-29T20:59:00.000+08:00

Harajuku Girls!

2005-11-29T20:58:00.000+08:00

this is how i look after having only four hours of sleep

2005-11-29T20:57:00.001+08:00

Mt Fuji!!!

2005-11-29T20:56:00.000+08:00

Zub and i in our Yukata!

2005-11-29T20:55:00.000+08:00

Santa and his cute little elves... hehe

2005-11-29T20:53:00.001+08:00

outside the Onsen

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Quaint little cake shop @ Mt Fuji

2005-11-29T20:50:00.001+08:00

@ our accomodation in Mt Fuji

2005-11-29T20:50:00.000+08:00

I think Suet might have strained her's too...

2005-11-29T20:49:00.000+08:00

I think i've strain my back while taking carrying out this stunt! ha

2005-11-29T20:48:00.000+08:00

@ Seminar house...

2005-11-29T20:47:00.000+08:00

Ayaka, my host in Hamamatsu

2005-11-29T20:46:00.000+08:00

@ a shopping centre in Hamamatsu

2005-11-29T20:45:00.001+08:00

Orange Picking Day!

2005-11-29T20:45:00.000+08:00

Hamamatsu Station...

2005-11-29T20:44:00.001+08:00

It looks a little unreal don't u think?

2005-11-29T20:44:00.000+08:00

Bamboo Forest in Arashiyama

2005-11-29T20:43:00.000+08:00

Arashiyama

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Kiyomizu Temple

2005-11-29T20:40:00.000+08:00

so cute!!!

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Kinkakuji

2005-11-29T20:38:00.000+08:00

maple leaves...

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i look like i've a tummy... eee

2005-11-29T20:36:00.000+08:00

isn't it beautiful!!!

2005-11-29T20:35:00.000+08:00

Outside Nijo Castle, Japan...

Greetings From Kyoto, Japan!!!

2005-11-18T19:56:00.000+08:00

Greetings everyone. I'm currently posting this blog using the computer in the ryokan /"youth hostel" named Kyoto Cheapest Inn. Its 9.00pm here, so it should be around 8 pm in S'pore. It's freezing here! I've underestimated the weather... Freezing to the point where i couldn't feel my toes and fingers after walking for 20 minutes from dinner back to our accomodation. Thank god i was kiasu enough to bring extra warm clothings, if not i'll be an ice block by the end of the day.

The keyboard is really wierd... All the symbols are placed all over the place...I'm having a hard time trying to type this entry... But nonetherless, i'll try. Kyoto is beautiful... The scenaries here are to die for, and of course, since it is absolutely beautiful, i've taken gazillion amount of photos... But silly me, did not bring the USB cable, so i can't transfer or upload the photos. Pretty cool hostel, with internet connection and everything else. One thing about Japan, they have vending machines for everything. From drinks to cigarettes to a full meal... How cool is that?!

I think the rest of the crew are paying money for tmr's trip while i'm sitting here posting an entry... So I've gotta go pay up my "debts". So I've gotta go...

Till then...

Off to Japan...

2005-11-16T22:06:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time since i had to pack for a trip overseas. There's small, minor trips out of S'pore once in a while but packing for those trips were never difficult. I took 3 days to complete packing of my luggage with winter clothings and every other necessities. In fact, i just completed my packing half an hour ago. Still need to buy a US plug converter, before i'm all set for Japan. It's starting to sink in, the trip the Japan. I was asked by a couple of people if i was excited for the trip, i gave them a striaght 'NO'. I'll get excited when it's on the day itself... Don't ask me why, coz i have no answer for it. :>

So, off i go to Japan and i'll bring lots of gorgeous photos when i get back...
Till then.

Finir!

2005-11-09T20:06:00.000+08:00

It is over!!! My sufferings are over! Well, at least for now it's over... :> And i'm celebrating it every single day! Went shopping for a whole lot of stuff, which also means that i've sucessfully burnt a huge hole in my pockets. But who cares! As long as i'm happy. I found my perfect pair of pumps! I.e. until i find my next perfect pair of shoes.

Cute pumps!

and i bought a new bag too. It's a sisley, one piece only bag! The salesperson @ P.O.A in paragon is quite a talker. She managed to convince me to purchase this 170 bucks bag...

Current Favourite!!!

What to do... I'm a shopaholic and nobody was there to stop me... Went to fitness first gym @ paragon with Rachel. My darling is a member there, so i decided to check out the gym facilities. Went to a class thinking that its MTV dance class... So there i was thinking, this can't be difficult. And i got punished for being so smugged about it... We or should i say moi, misread the schedule. The class was actually BodyJam, an aerobics class! So we went in, wondering why we are doing all this aerobics like steps, that's when i realized that i misread the schedule. Let me tell you something new about me... I can dance but i sure CAN'T DO aerobics. I was a fool in there! Sweat like mad but i didn't know what i was doing. But it was fun nonetheless. :>

Finally spent the 70 bucks voucher my dear friends from school gave me as a birthday present. Went to buy a new sports bra and a tank at nike women. :> Realized that i've to start packing my stuff before i fly off next thurs.
Ladies and gentlemen, I am going to JAPAN!!!
Starting from Kyoto, to Kobe or Arashiyama, to Hamamatsu, to Mt Fuji and finally to Tokyo. :> I can't wait! Will post lots of photos when i get back on the 28th. Till then...

MAD CRAMMIN

2005-11-03T18:51:00.000+08:00

I think i'm about to set a new record... Completing revision for 3 subjects, namely, behaviour modification, abnormal psychology and patient-practitioner relationship, in one and a half days. Felt like i have to do something else after completing revision for abnormal psychology before embarking on patient-practitioner relationship for the next couple of hours. My head is so stuffed with information that i think my brain juice is threatening to leak from my ears and nose...

QUESTION: What is the purpose of exams?

From a macro perspective, under the functional system, its main function is to test us on our "knowledge", i.e. if we put it in a nice way or just simply our abilities to cram as much information as we can just a few days before exams. However, i do feel that it's serving more on it's dysfunction these days... Namely,

(1) forcing the students such as moi, to not have enough sleep for 2 weeks or so.
(2) making us feel like a two year old child after each paper
(3) putting us in somewhat psychotic mode, for e.g. snapping at anyone who disturbs the revision process and chanting this famous mantra to ourselves, aloud, "I can do this, I can do this..."

Even right now, as i type this entry, i'm revising by application of my sociological theories. This can't be healthy...You see how obsessed i'm with my school work? But i can't complain, because it is what i want to do... However, one can always indulge him/herself by wallowing themselves in self-pity. Afterall, Wallowing for a time can be healthy, wallowing for a lifetime is not.
Back to the books...

Mobility Practical

2005-10-24T20:13:00.000+08:00

I've always pride myself for being calm and cool at different situations... but guess wat?! I fucked up my practical exam today... made a complete, utter fool of myself in front of my manager and my lecturer... In fact, i've never felt so incompetent in my life. Half the time i was trying to maintain my composure, while the other half i was busily trying to prevent my "patient" from falling. And of course, i dropped my "patient"... thrice!?! how stupid can i get... I absolutely have no excuse of performing the way i did... Just because my patient inclines towards the heavier category doesn't give me the reason to drop her. My partner during labs is heavier than she is... My classmates says it's okay... But at risk of sounding neurotic,
IT'S NOT OKAY!!!

I'm just so pissed... piss at the fact that i let my frustration get the better of me. thank god it's only 25%... I have to work my ass off for the upcoming paper to pull up my grade... Piece of S***...

In my Head

2005-10-16T18:59:00.000+08:00

In my head

Your voice

You've got all that I need

And this make believe will get me through

Another lonely night

Fall away to the sound of my heart to your beat

Melancholy and cool, kind of bitter sweet

Love on repeat

I'm echoing all your philosophies

And as I fall away to the sound of my heart to your beat

Melancholy and cool, kind of bitter sweet

Love on repeat

I'm echoing all your philosophies

And as I...Oh...I don't

Wanna be fool-hearted

Baby, I'm out

Numbered in my head

I don't

I don't wanna be fool-hearted

Baby, I'm out

Numbered in my head

My head...In my head

Your voice

You've got all that I need

And this make believe will get me through

Another night

Yeah, your voice

You've got all that I need

And this make believe will get me through

Another lonely night

Lonely night...

Under the weight of your wings

I make believe you are all that I'll ever need

All that I need...

BORE

2005-10-06T20:43:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since i last blogged... Been consumed with work, or should i say still am consumed with work. Presentations, projects, tests, exams, reports... anything you can think of that are involved in a tertiary education, i've done it. It's no wonder my friends are starting to think that i'm quite a bore... In fact, i agree with them. I AM A BORE... I just can't seem to get away from school, everything reminds me of the ridiculous amount of work i've yet to complete. Even when i'm out with my friends, when they asked me what i've been doing, i would be talking about school again and that never fails to make me feel guilty because i'm having fun instead of writing my 2000 words report on an Ax tool or an activity planned for therapy session. Look at me! I'm talking about school again. It's amazing how all these work can consumed one person. Talk about being controlled by the social institution one is in... I'm experiencing that right now...

What does it take to drive me to the edge of my limits nowadays? Not much. I get ticked off so easily, it makes me wonder if i'm having an extremely early onset of menopause. One moment i'm laughing and being all jolly, the next moment, i'm like a grouchy old grandmother... What the f#*k is wrong with me??? I'm this close to considering taking prozac...

4 more weeks of hell...

Sad...

2005-09-06T13:36:00.000+08:00

Damn sad lah... My trusty, gorgeous, red, limited edition samsung phone has failed me... The lcd screen is blank! Basket... Then no time to send for servicing also. So tempted to buy new phone but i don't want to spend a few hundred dollars just like that... Sobb... Damn suai.

Now, i can't even sms now, at least whether i can sms depends on my phone's "mood". Sometimes it works, most of the time it doesn't! pissed off... Thank goodness Tan has a spare phone to loan to me... I really have to find them to go to her house and get it from her. I'm really going crazy... Argh!

How?! Should i get a new phone or go service this phone of mine... haiz...

SAJC Reunion Dinner

2005-09-04T21:10:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a pretty interesting night! I attended the reunion dinner with my gurls in my pretty green dress. :> All of us looked great yesterday! Of course, we had to perform before we can eat... As usual. And i screwed up! Did the wrong steps on stage but don't care, just continue... The stage floor was horrible and pathetic... Carpeted ones! How to turn?! ended up with blisters on my feet... Basket...

The food was okay... Although they served my favourite dessert! Yam paste with lotus seed, aka, "Or Ni". (Not sure if thats the correct spelling.) Anyway, i had fun with the girls! :> Went to lot stock to meet my colleagues. :> On the journey there in glen's car was a full on bitching session with Zaki and Glen. So fun!!! i missed those times where all of us will bunch up together to bitch about things and of course people after our dance sessions.

Whole bunch of them were at lot stock... I was overdressed... and everybody is asking me why i was in a dress. :> Why not... haha! Drank a bit... Which surprisingly caused me to have a headache the next day... I think it's because i didn't eat much during dinners. It was fun though! Chilling out with everyone. Playing the Picture game with them! You know those games where you spot the difference in the pictures... Although Yan was constantly annoying me! :p I was so annoyed that i went to complain to lydia. Whom in return, went to bully Yan! haha. My "hao jie mei"! She is not "zhong se qing you". Continued to have fun till about 3 plus in the morning. Reached home @ around 4 am.

Screwed up in tech class today... I was having a major headache. Each Piques & Pirouettes just made it worse. When it was time for choreography, i was already half dead... Was surprised that i could go through the 3 hours of training.

The past week has been pretty eventful. Although i'm not exactly pleased that school is starting again tmr... Damned...